what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
should my penis look like a turkey
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
