Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
