Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
