Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
