That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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