She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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