I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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