It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
