His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
