I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
