don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
