Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
