awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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