Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
everyone is single if you try hard enough
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
