is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
