haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
