if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
cat food counts as protein by the way
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
