If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
