Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
