My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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