Rock
Scissors
Fuck
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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