so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
