I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
