just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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