How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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