your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
