yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
