put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
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