spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
