Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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