So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
