One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
