Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
