i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
