Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
