Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she told me i tasted like america
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
