: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
