I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
