There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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