It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
