Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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