Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm jealous of your bromance
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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