i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Did I show you my penis last night?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
