so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I CAN MOONWALK!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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