Do you still have your period?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
