Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
