My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think I sprained my soul last night
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
