She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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