I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
