the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
