so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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